One year ago

I’m a day late, but one year ago — October 30, 2007 — was our court date, and Zufan became our daughter under Ethiopian law. So happy adoption day, baby. I can’t believe a year has passed. On the other hand, I can’t believe it has only been a year. Time flies, yet it seems like she’s been with us forever. We’re off to the Halloween festivities. Enjoy it, everyone.

The tagged cheater!! — Repost of “Your deepest questions answered”

Hey guys! I think I was sorta tagged by Katy to write 7 random things about myself. Well… I could do that. BUT, just a few months ago, I wrote 10 random things,  and I’m just so darn busy right now. I went back and re-read my “10 things,” and interestingly, I think I’d write about different things now. It’s amazing how life moves on, things change, people change, our attitudes and perceptions and even memories change. It’s only been 8 months since that post, and I feel like I grow up more every day. Life is hard. I want to write a “life is so hard poor me” post, but that is fruitless and silly and pointless, so let’s do the 10 things post again. Sorry to you guys — Evelyn, Lori, Julie, Katy and Anne — who have been with me through the long haul and have already read it, but…  If I’m feeling up to it, I’ll do a “7 more” post later on. Although, you probably have more than enough with the first 10! Here it was, and is:

Your Deepest Questions Answered!, March 14, 2008

No, not really.  But I did come up with something!  I was tagged by Julie to write 10 random things about myself.  Thanks Julie!  It’s been a long time since I’ve played tag.  Here are the 10-ish: 

1)  I went alone to Costa Rica when I was a junior in college, to study at a language school.  The plane was delayed so we got in a 2:00 am, and I couldn’t make the pay phone work to call my host family.  No one was there to meet me.  A taxi driver took me to many hotels and they were all booked up.  Since I didn’t speak much Spanish at the time and must have said “si” when I shouldn’t have, I ended up staying in a pay-by-the-hour place run by a friend of the taxi driver’s and a good 1/2 hour up in the mountains outside of San Jose.  I was never so scared in my entire life, but it all turned out fine.  The off-duty taxi driver came back for me in the morning and took me to my host family.  Whew!

2)  I can’t sing.  In 2nd grade our music teacher made me be “Miss Five Golden Rings”  for the 12 days of Christmas.  We had to sing it in front of the class, and I was so bad he sang my part with me all 8 times.  So, I came to the realization that I was the worst singer that had ever existed and never sang again.  Well… except maybe alone in the car…

3)  I like to eat salad.  It isn’t that I’d rather eat a hamburger or steak, I actually love green food.  And mangos.  I really, really love mangos, especially right off the trees.  And avocados.

3.5)  My family got 2 adorable little piglets one spring.  We named them “oink” and “squeal.”  A year or so later we had beige paper covered packages in the freezer labeled “oink” and “squeal.”  (I exaggerate.  They were probably really labeled “bacon” and “ham.”)  Maybe that’s why I like salad so well.

4)  As a little kid I was SO innocent, but so interested in boys.  I had my first “boyfriend” (Ha!) at age 5.  In the kindergarten classroom.  I think saying “hi” to a boy made him a boyfriend in kindergarten in the 70’s.  In any case, thank goodness I must have kept these particular precocious genes to myself, as neither the 8 year old nor the 4 year old have expressed any of this type of interest. 

5)  In high school I was not at all popular, and didn’t hang out with the cool kids.  I did, however, give a graduation speech when we graduated.  It even made some people laugh.  Or maybe they were just laughing AT me!

6)  Proving that the GRE tests test-taking skills rather than brain potential, I scored in the 99th percentile of the verbal section.  I had done what any insecure nerd would do and memorized the words the Princeton Review said might show up on the test, and took a few practice exams.   It’s quite ironic that I scored that high considering I can’t spell to save my life (why, why don’t they have a spell check on wordpress?), and “verbal?”  Ha!!  That’s a joke.  I have the vocabulary of a 13 year old (”whatever!”) and my preferred way of holding up my end of the conversation is to nod my head, say, “really?” or “that’s interesting!” and hope the other person keeps talking.   

7)  I tend to be a pretty accurate judge of character.  When I was a kid and didn’t like someone – from the milkman to a family friend – my parents usually took my opinion seriously because of how often people ended up living up to my original opinion of them.  I like to think I have a special streak of intuition in this area, although I know it isn’t infallible.  Did I spell that GRE word correctly? 

8)  I’m really loyal to people I like, and tend to like just a few individuals a very lot.  Maybe it’s because I can’t believe I was ever wrong in my impression of someone but in any case, once you receive my stamp of approval you could be convicted of murdering someone and I’d say that, well, they must have had it coming!  At the same time, I’m not good with large groups — unless they are my students, because then I have a specific purpose for being there and a pre-prepared script of things to say.

9)  I’ve planned to adopt a baby from Ethiopia since I was about 13 or 14.  Ideally, I’d like to adopt 3 more — Ethiopia again, Haiti, China.  But that isn’t likely to happen.  We won’t adopt again unless we have a house, space, some free time, and the esposo graduates from grad school.  That may or may not happen.  Ever.

9.5)  I never yell at my kids.  Well, maybe I would if they ran in front of a mini-van.

10)  I dream big.  In real life, I’m just average — if that – in pretty much every way.  In my dreams, though, I have it all.  Unlimited potential.  I’m a bestselling author, a world traveler who speaks 10 languages, the professor everyone adores, a parent of future geniuses, a knock-’em-dead salsa dancer, I’m as good and kind as Mother Teresa and as fast as Meseret Defar.  Some part of me refuses to believe that I am just one insignificant speck of the mass of humanity; I imagine that I am important, special, and that my life matters to the world somehow.  I laugh at how ridiculous I am, yet always keep my personal dreams of greatness alive.

Have a great Wednesday!!!

P.S. If you want to cheat, too, just cut-and-paste your comment. hehe.

How about a little spit with that cake?

The party was a hit, of course. You can’t go wrong with the 10-and-under crowd. I just love these kids, all of them. If I had all the time and money — not to mention a housekeeper and perhaps also a cook – that I wanted, I’d raise another handful. Since I’ve already “got my hands full” (as has been observed by many helpful folks in the airport and grocery store), borrowing other people’s sweet kids for the afternoon is second best. Cute, aren’t they?

That was some tasty spit on that birthday cake.

More Sunday partying

This little girl has party time coming up this afternoon, and she’s so excited — as are the other two. The more kids, the more parties for everyone! Yes, we celebrated the girls’ birthdays last week at the waterpark with the relatives, but the “friend party” is today. Hopefully, we will remember to put 9 candles on the cake. (Last weekend we forgot and only used 8, and didn’t notice until we looked at the pictures! Poor kid.) So pinata, cake and candy, here we come! But first, I’ve got some miles that are long overdue to be run. I’ve been enjoying this marathon-recovery stage a little too much. Party pictures later.

Zufan tells her adoption story

Please ignore my voice in this video. I’m not sure what happened. Did I suck some helium right before the filming? Also, ignore the garbage bag in the background. Oh, well.

Zufan’s two mommies

I framed this picture of Zufan’s Ethiopian mom and me a couple of weeks ago, and Zufan has LOVED the picture. I keep it on a low shelf by the bed. If she has moved it and can’t find it, she’ll ask for it by saying “mommy-mommy-mommy-mamaaaaaa….” in a joyful voice. It’s so cute, and a little bittersweet. I figure it is best to start early, letting her tell her adoption story the way she understands it with her little barely-2 year old mind.

The prince and princess

How I survive the 26.2 (Last Chicago Marathon post – promise!)

Everyone has different strategies on how they get through the marathon. I’ll share what works for me, although really, I should be doing a post on INJUSTICE, and UNFAIRNESS, like Evelyn and Julie have done lately. It’s a topic that is on my mind most of the time. Read their posts, and know you don’t need a new ceiling fan. Or drapes (what are drapes, anyway?). Or a new kitchen. Or any other of the endless material items Americans are always drooling after. 

So back to the running. I know this might not be all that interesting for those who have no desire to run even a 5K, let alone eight and a half 5Ks back to back, but… never say never. Any of you reading this could find yourself running a marathon someday. 

Here are the strategies that have worked for me in the last three marathons. Up until race day,  I’ve kept my expectations really, really low. I hope to do well, but tell myself that no matter how long it takes me to run it — or if the worst happens and I drop out — it is OK. I remind myself that I might fail. That I probably will fail. And that is fine. So relax.

Race day, I get up about 2 or 3 hours before the run, take a shower to wake up, drink several cups of coffee and eat half a banana, half a bagel, and some peanut butter. Then I get myself to the starting line really early, and just hang out in the porta-potty lines until starting time. Sound lovely? It is.

 Once the race starts, the mental games begin. I become shockingly, laughably, and totally delusional. I say to myself things like, “This is SO easy!!” “I am having SUCH a good day.” “This is SO MUCH FUN!!”, and I work in a few ”I’m feeling great!”s, and even some “I could go WAY faster than this if I wanted to!” over and over, and totally tune out any negativity whatsoever. Keep in mind, this is radically different from my usual self-talk!! I wonder what I could accomplish if I told myself such things in my everyday life? It’s an entertaining thought. Anyway, I lay it on thick in my mind, way overboard with the wildly positive self-talk. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so darn funny.

My second trick, the last 3 marathons, has been to only focus on one mile at a time. Really. My only goal at mile 2 is to get to mile 3. Same thing at 18. I only need to get to mile 19. That makes it manageable. At my first and most difficult marathon, when I was at mile 15 and feeling miserable, I said to myself, “I still have 11.2 miles to go” and essentially started crying right there on the course while I was running. Big mistake! Since then, I avoid looking at the big picture while I’m in the midst of it.

The third and final trick is that I focus on what I’m doing and on my surroundings at that precise moment. I notice how the air smells, how the course in front of me looks, how my sweat tastes, what the crowd is saying. I’m intensely in the moment when I run. I’ve heard other people say that they plan what they will eat when they finish, or think about stories or jokes to distract themselves, but that hasn’t worked for me. I have to be there or I can’t do it. I don’t think I’m tough enough or experienced enough to autopilot a race. I have to intently focus on what I’m doing to keep moving. When I need to fill my mind with words, I run to the rhythm of whatever clock time that I estimate I’ll be at when I hit the next mile marker (mile 14, 1:58, mile 14, 1:58, mile 14, 1:58).

So there you have it. How to run a marathon the Zufan-mommy way.

           

The pictures, as you can see, are scammed off the Chicago Marathon photographer’s website. They don’t get bigger, but there’s no way I’m paying $50 for a download! So reach for your magnifying glasses. (Am I being pursued by shirtless men, or is that coincidence? Unfortunately, I think I’m being left in their dust.)

Weekend with the grandparents

Grammie and the girls:

The waterpark:

Since we’ve been home Zufan has been jumping off the furniture, yelling “splash!”

With Grandpa (Zufan made up the word “dub-dub” for “Grandpa”), doing a little work:

The kids and Papi having fun:    

Hope you all had a good weekend, too!

Happy Birthday to my little quilt maker! (with photo update)

I’m SO proud of my almost-tween. She is nine now!!! Amazing. She has such a good little heart, and is so compassionate, insightful, kind and sweet. She’s my little helper and my angel, and will always be my baby. Her siblings are incredibly fortunate to have her for a big sister. Happy Birthday, sweetie!!!

(I’m missing the latest quilt, her favorite, so I’ll try to take a picture of it and add it to the post later. DONE! It is at the top. She was very proud to win “favorite quilt” in her category at the quilt expo a couple weekends ago. She makes up for my TOTAL lack of crafty-ness. )

The marathon-long Chicago weekend photo post

One of the best things to come from this new running habit is the excuse to visit friends and family I’d otherwise neglect. So far each marathon has been a mini-vacation of sorts, and a travel opportunity. I spent 8 years NEVER leaving my kids; hardly any childcare, no public school, and no overnights, ever – not even with Grandma and Grandpa. I do think this was a great way to raise our kids at the time. But I think that now, the best way for all of us to live a healthy life is to have a happy mommy who exercises and remembers to talk to her friends and relatives. The esposo is doing a great job of picking up the parenting slack left by my running, which is a good thing. I was only gone for one night, and half of each day on either side. But as you can see, I still feel like I need to justify it and explain it! Oh well, mommy guilt is pretty hard-wired.

Anyway, I met my absolutely adored and adorable friend on Saturday afternoon, and we packed a week’s worth of activities into one afternoon and evening. We first met up with some of her relatives and her tiny little niece, then headed on the “L” to the Expo at McCormick place, which was a nice adventure in itself. Recognize Chicago’s Chinatown on the picture above? That was the second stop. A very amused construction worker took the photo. Yes, the middle of the road seemed like an appropriate place for us.

After Chinatown (it smelled exactly like my neighborhood, by the way), we headed to the Millenium Fountain. I really missed the kids there! There were babies in only diapers as well as fully clothed big kids (and even a couple adults) soaking themselves in the “spit” of that woman. What a neat idea.

Here I am, just sitting here. SO SO SO happy to be in Chicago. Loving my life. Loving my awesome friend. Loving everyone in Chicago. Excited for tomorrow’s race. But apparently, in desperate need of a new hairstyle. I won’t do short, but… I need a change. It looks awful. I look frumpy. What should I do with it? The hair I mean — the goofy face is here to stay, I’m afraid. So how can I get some life into it without an old-fashioned 80’s style “perm?” Ideas? I need help. Please.

Next stop was “The Bean.” I still don’t really know what The Bean is, but it was pretty cool. The bean must have some strange power, though, because everyone was walking up to it and doing weird things, like putting their feet on it, twisting around, getting upside down… We weren’t very creative. The above was our very lame attempt at a unique bean photo pose. 

Then suddenly, it was race day morning. Here’s the one token photo of me ready to run in Ethiopia colors. Lucky for me, Pilsen neighborhood though I was the Mexican flag. And no, I’m not a hotel advertisement. Maybe the photographer was a big Congress Hotel fan?

Now, a half hour later, the sun started coming up and it was a beautiful, warm Chicago morning. Nearly 40,00 runners were ready for the big run.

Need a potty? Grant park was so full of port-a-potties that there were almost no lines. Amazing. It was the most well-organized race I’ve been to so far, despite (or maybe because of) last year’s disaster.

Suddenly, it’s over! I’m on my way home! The sky was beautiful. I was intoxicated with happiness.

And here is Zufan, being silly. The kids love to play in the wraps, so I grabbed a couple extra.

OOPS! Did I miss something? The race itself!!! Next post, I promise. I could talk your ear off about that race, but I think my computer time is over for today. Hasta manana!!