We made it home, but Mommy is tired

We are back, and I am just so tired. We had a very nice trip. Here are a couple of pictures from this year’s journey. The drive went well, uneventful, thankfully. Here they are, Zufan in her pajamas, as we were getting on the road.

Then, with my grandma, who is very sick with cancer right now:

The big girl was just amazing, sitting with her in the chair for long stretches of time, talking to Gram and holding her hand. So sweet. As for me, I’m short of sleep, exhausted, but still very happy about Julie’s referral. Evelyn is next up. And oh, yeah, I did get an afternoon job that starts next fall, to go along with the morning job, so I’m a double-part-timer and we are as set-up on the job front as we are going to be. It’s all good. And it’ll be even better after some sleep.

Congratulations to Julie and Steven!!

Who cares what we are up to? JULIE GOT A REFERRAL!!!!!!!!! It’s been a long journey. It’s a boy, and it’s a girl.

Some things really are worth waiting for. Congratulations, a million times over.

On the road again

The kids and I are heading to Grandma and Grandpa’s on this Tuesday-after-Memorial Day. They are beside themselves with excitement. It’s going to be a long day, but I’m so happy to be in the car with my kids instead of heading for work. Last year, the car broke down along the way… remember?

The picture above is from last year. We have better wheels this year.

The weekend felt so busy! My half marathon went fairly well (1 hour and 43 minutes, a pace of 7:54 per mile, 12th of 348 age group), but my expectations continue to outpace my performance. I still think, or hope, rather, that there is a little room for improvement. Here’s the (sort of) hard won shirt, along with baby with her braids half-in, half-out. The stylist wasn’t kidding when she told me, “they won’t come out.” Braid removal has been a major undertaking.

Big girl had her first communion service on Sunday right after the race, so we all went straight to the church. Looked like a wedding and there was a bit much ritual, but it was a very upbeat event and big girl grinned from start to finish.  Zufan made so much noise during the the first 10 minutes of the service that she ended up enjoying the church nursery immensely. She was a total hit there. (Big girl with Papi, then second from left.)

And finally, mommy attempted (key word here) an early morning swim in the lake (exercise-type swimming, not fun-swimming, I promise) with some other sanity-challenged individuals, then spent another couple of hours weaving out the rest of Zufan’s braids-of-steel, washing and combing, and with evening approaching fast cleaned and packed in a panic and had to miss the Memorial Day picnic we were invited to at Meghan’s. Bummer, but we will catch up with them soon. OK, it’s 6:30 AM, time to be like Willie. I’ll be checking in soon from the tick-n-mosquito state.

Off and running again

Thanks for the great comments on the last post. I appreciate the support so much.

Today I’m trying to stay off my feet a little more than usual because tomorrow I’m running a half marathon. It is only the 2nd time I’ve done a half and I hope I beat my time, but since it isn’t really the main event I haven’t been taking it too seriously, and even registered last minute. I sort of feel like I’m cheating by doing only a half instead of the full. But that is coming up soon, end of June. I’m telling myself that even if I run it slowly, it’ll be nice to get a 13 mile run done.

The big kids are at birthday party this afternoon, so Zufan and I are heading over to the marathon Expo as soon as she and Papi get back from the zoo. Here are my two sweetie girls, with Zufan insisting on wearing those fancy high heels that the big girl never wears. Silly girl. She finds a way to make everything a little more fun.

Wondering if I should have “liked the sound of my own voice.”

I didn’t get the job. The job (teaching at a private school in the afternoon, to combine with my current job teaching at the college in the morning) that would have gotten us up and moving forward again, financially, next year. Especially since I was told I was one of the final two candidates, I’m having a bit of a hard time taking this rejection. It hurts.

They said it was because the job might go three-quarters instead of half-time and then wouldn’t fit with my schedule, but really, even then it would have fit, so I must have failed the second interview, the “personality” interview. One question was, “Are you a Pied Piper?” Another was “How do you feel when someone is avoiding you?” (Maybe ”hurt” was a wrong answer?) Then there was, “What would you do if you saw a 5 year old hammering, he hit his finger, and cried?” (The situations weren’t necessarily in a school setting.) I said I would scoop him up and hug him and go find his mother. BEEEP. Was I wrong again?

Another question that still mystifies me was “Do you like the sound of your own voice?” I said “No.” Honesty. After the interview I asked this question to the esposo and also to my officemate at the college, and then later to two guys from my running group. ALL FOUR of these people said, “yes,” that for the most part, they like the sound of their voices. So, most likely the interview revealed that despite my promises to do a great job for them, the truth underneath it all is that I have a hard time believing in myself. (Or maybe that is too deep, and they are looking for the next American Id0l?)

I’m sad about this “no.” My intuition told me that the interviews went really well and I was going to get this job. Man, looks like I was way off base. Do things really always work out for the best? I don’t know about that. And, what is success? If I had married someone who makes enough money for us all to live on so that my income was “extra,” would the world define my level of  ”success” differently? And if that question is too tough, just answer this one for me: Do you like the sound of your own voice?

Another interview

Taking everyone’s advice, I made a follow-up call yesterday morning on those interviews I had the week before last, and once again… NADA. I got the principal’s voicemail and left a brief message. No one has called back. I am so sick of waiting for the phone to ring. I feel like that job was a great date who said “I’ll call you tomorrow” as he walked away forever, and now I’ve been holding my breath so long waiting for that darn phone to ring that I’m about to pass out. So, time to exhale and move to plan B.

I had another interview today, this time to teach a class or two in the afternoons at the technical college. If I get this one I’d still have a gig in the morning and one in the afternoon, but both the stress and the pay would be far lower. It is likely that that is going to be what next year looks like, and really, that’s OK with me.  With this second tier option I’d have a few more hours a week to exercise, keep the house liveable, and raise the three sweeties. 

It is an absolutely beautiful day out there! We are heading out to scoop some sand. And if anyone has good news of any sort today… Send it my way! I could use some uplifting. Hope you are all well.

A busy weekend

We had birthday parties, hours of playtime with the neighbors, catch-up house cleaning (for mommy), grocery shopping and… baptisms. Yep, that’s right. Why? I’ll make it short.

Since I grew up strict Baptist (yes, people would jump up and shout A-MEN frequently during the service), I now tend to stay away from organized religion. I’m still recovering from the effects.  But in spite of that, a few years ago we decided that we wanted the kids to go to Sunday School and we might as well do it in a Spanish speaking congregation, so we tried out the 3 Spanish services in town and picked the most liberal church. The pastor is in a popular salsa band in town, so that upped the coolness factor a bit, too. 

Sending the kids to Sunday School there has been a postive experience resulting in some extra Spanish-speaking friends, and I try to talk to the kids and remind them that they can never take what others tell them without thinking it through for themselves — Sunday School teachers are not the ultimate authority. The service has a Catholic flavor to it (it isn’t Catholic, but so many who attend have come from Catholic backgrounds), so the big girl wants to do the First Communion ritual next week with her class… but oopps! They told us that she had to be baptised to do the communion, and instead of rocking anyone’s boat we decided that well, it can’t hurt, so we got them all done at once. The kids were adorable up there on stage (with us). Zufan talked through the ceremony and is no doubt going to be remembered by all. 

I, for my part, totally failed to get any good pictures. I had all three of the kids fixed up (as much as you can fix up three 9-and-unders after a killer group morning run and make it to the chuch on time) but forgot the camera, and the little boy had a birthday party to go to straight from the chuch.   

I’ve been a tiny bit conflicted about the whole deal, but then again I figure, it is a balancing act. A little ritual and religious background combined with plenty of critical thinking and an open mind should be as fair of a start as any. I hope.

On the job front… NO NEWS! They clearly said they would let me know either way. How could an interview go as well as I thought that one did, and yet result in… nothing? Should I make a follow-up call? Probably not, right? Ideas? I should maybe just let it go and look for the open window (and check to see that the open window isn’t on the 12th story before I jump through it). Hope there’s good news coming this week for some of YOU out there, anyway. Happy Monday, Amigas.

And I’m still waiting…

But not for a referral, of course. (Did you hear the Dixie Chicks there?) I have a hard time making the Wednesday wordless! Here are three pictures from our last trip to Puerto Rico,  when Zufan had been home only a month. I can not believe how time flies. Incredible. We all are anxious to go back to see the in-laws, and tickets are so ultra-cheap right now that it is very temping. Anyone remember that last picture, taken on the grass in front of El M0rro right after Zufan learned to play peek-a-boo? The nice people from Gift of Ad0ption used it in their latest fundraising letter, along with a little blurb about Zufan.

No news about the job. I’m pretty much writing it off at this point. If I haven’t heard by tomorrow, I’m officially considering the case closed and going to start up the search again. Oh, well. Like a lot things, it’s maybe for the better, anyway.

World’s cuddliest 9 year old

I took the big girl to the office yesterday, and while I didn’t really get much done while she was there, it was so worth the lost work time. We spent lots of time checking out the art department (her favorite), and oohhing and aahhing over the art displays and ceramics. She is such a sweetie. I need to remember to carve out time for just her once in a while. The littles are so much more demanding, that sometimes her sweetness and patience make it easy to put her needs after theirs. Gotta remember to put her first once in a while.

Now, I’m waiting, too. Not for the big referral (much more exciting!), but waiting to hear if I got, or did not get, that job I applied and interviewed twice for. There is no word yet. I’m thinking that is not a good sign. It could still go either way, I guess, but I can guarantee that if I get it, there has got to be no self-back-patting. It is definitely out of my hands. I’m a little bummed that I don’t know yet.

Two hours later

Well, I finally got resourceful and took Zufan to a Black beauty shop (a barber shop was what I found, actually, but they called a wonderful woman who didn’t normally work there to come over and braid) and got her hair done. It was a great experience, but took quite some time — almost 2 hours from start to finish. The woman plopped Zufan on her lap and went to work, and Mommy entertained. There are lots of cool baby games you can play with colored plastic hair clips, I discovered. We made the clips fly, talk, swim, and built towers until they crashed, for starters. After the final touch of olive oil had been sprayed on baby’s new fancy hair, we headed out to Trader J0e’s for some much needed and hard earned free-wheeling around the store. Zufan showed off her new ‘do and explained the process to anyone who cared to listen (and a few who didn’t).

Hope you all had a nice Mother’s Day yesterday, and I loved a comment I read somewhere by an adoptive parent: Mother’s Day will always be mixed. For many of us, and most certainly for our kids, it will be.