This, on top of the crazy-busy rest of my life, really puts a kink in the blogging. But boy, do I want to write. I am, at times lately, drowning in emotion, frustrated with some aspects of my life and, well, there’s just so much that I’m working through right now. Will it ever get easier? I need time to exercise, which makes me a much better mother, but unfortunately, if I exercise, I’m taking time away from the kids. They need me. I’m already so busy with work and the night classes I’m taking. Now, no computer at home. Social life is on hold. Send me good thoughts, because so much of the time it feels like I am climbing up a really big hill, I make some progress, but then it starts to rain and I slip backwards in the mud and muck. Right now I’m slipping back with no clear foothold in sight. Yes, life is good; but it is also hard. If any of you are feeling the slip back down the muddy hill, know you are in good company. There’s got to be a tree trunk back there to stop the backwards slide soon. I know it. Then I can start moving back up again. Gotta remember: It’s the journey. Wishing you all a great week.
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8 responses so far ↓
Evelyn // November 9, 2009 at 10:00 pm |
I’m throwing you a rope to catch down that hill. The downside of the blog world is that we just can’t hop over and give you a hug, some babysitting or sit with you at a coffee shop. Hang in there. You are so strong. And yes, you are on the path, on the journey…. hope it leads to a plateau soon.
Lori // November 10, 2009 at 2:40 am |
You are a rock star and don’t you forget it. At times like this, use your perspective therapy. It sounds corny, but make a gratitude list.
What do you have right now that is good? Your kids are healthy? You are healthy? Start with the basics. Imagine how much worse things could be and then give thanks for the fact that you’re not in that place. Re-frame the situation.
Also, hel-lo you’ve run marathons. So you know how to pace yourself. This horrible time in your life must be like mile 17. You’ve been through so much and you still have like freaking 9 miles to go? What do you do then to stay motivated? Try to apply the same pep talk to your current life situation. You will get through this.
Peace.
esperandoazufan // November 10, 2009 at 2:56 am |
Lori, I absolutely LOVE this comment. It is beautiful. Thank you. I am going to write that gratitude list right now. HANDWRITE IT, ha ha, coming at you from mile 17. Mile 17 is so tough, but at the same time, only a single-digit number yet to go. Self pep-talk on the way. I do have so much good going on. First, here is what I need to turn upside down:
I keep focusing on how SLOW I am running, how NOT SKINNY I am at the moment (I would give a lot to lose about 10 lbs right now) and how utterly, desperately MONEY-FREE I am, and how I can barely tolerate the EX missing the toilet and peeing all over the bathroom rug.
See, it is almost funny. It just isn’t that bad.
OK. Picking up the pen now. Thanks, Lori, you know, you are a such great writer.
Leslie // November 10, 2009 at 5:56 am |
Hang in there! You are terrific and you will make it. Keep on putting one foot in front of the other and keep focusing on what’s important. Good for you for counting your blessings in all of this.
esperandoazufan // November 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm |
Thank you so much, too, Evelyn, and Leslie.
Evelyn, I’m reaching for that rope, not quite got it yet…
Leslie // November 12, 2009 at 12:41 pm |
PS, I gave you a blog award.
Lori // November 12, 2009 at 11:04 pm |
You ARE in company… I wouldn’t say it’s good company though, it’s me!
Blogging is helping – keeping sense of humor is essential, and knowing with my heart of hearts that things could be tragic and not just hard.
Sending a huge tree trunk vibe your way!
esperandoazufan // November 14, 2009 at 9:07 pm |
Lori, what’s going on with you? I’ll stop by and check it out!