A little whine :)

I have about 2 minutes before I need to get in the shower. First, a tiny, little, quick post. This morning, I feel so tired. I’m thankful that all my classes are taking exams today; I get to relax, watch, do some correcting. There are times, like now, when I feel completely vulnerable. I like being fairly independent, but I also miss having somebody to lean on when I’m tired, or down, or just mellow. I ran a lot yesterday, took care of the kids a lot, and today, I feel really wiped out. I have a cold. I want someone to lean on. Somebody to get me some soup and tell me that it really IS all going to be OK someday. I’m getting close to sounding whiny here, aren’t I? The “everybody likes me but no one loves me” whine. Ah, well, we all have our moments, right? I’m sure the sun will come out a little later today. Hope you all are having a good Monday morning!

Having a lot a coffee lately

It’s busy, I’m tired, but everything is good! Coffee… I love it. This picture is stolen from the CNN article about the woman who has 100 cups of coffee with 100 men. Me, well, mostly, I’m having coffee to wake up in the morning, take care of kiddos, run, study, and work. With an occassional load of laundry thrown in. Mostly. . Today, last “long” run before the Chicago Marathon. Since I didn’t have much of a training plan, there won’t be much of a taper. Two weeks ’till the run. Have a great weekend, chicas.

And, I just realized, EVELYN GOT A REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Go see her. So, so happy.

Saturday bullet point post

– Saturday is Kung Fu downtown day. Fun. We love going to State Street and hanging around, especially in the beautiful weather

– I am busy. Busier than I’ve been for a really, really long time. But it is all good. So far, keeping on top, but not keeping up so well on the blog.

– Only 3 weeks until the Chicago Marathon!!! I am NOT ready for it. It’s going to be miserable. But, that’s OK. Suffering is good for the spirit.

– Kids are still doing great in school. We had one issue, though, because the crazy school district assigned my native English speaking 9 year old to ESL classes!!! AHHH!!! Are they crazy? We put on the paperwork that Spanish is spoken at home AND English is spoken at home, and that she is bilingual. Long, long story, but after a meeting with the ESL teacher (DON”T like her. NOT nice. Young and foolish.) and the principal (VERY nice and shocked that little linguistically talented 9 year old was assigned to English as a Second Language classes), I refilled out the paperwork, lied (principal told me to) and said she was a monolinguistic English speaker, and got her out of the program. Sick system here in Wisconsin. Illegal, actually, according to a lawyer I talked to about it. But the story is long, and I am in a hurry, as usual. That’s the jist of it.

– Finally, wow, I am happy. Just so you know. I am no longer miserable, or fighting off the misery. I had a couple years of being borderline unhappy. But now… The world looks so hopeful. It isn’t always easy, but mostly, I feel peace. Things are good. Not perfect. But very, very good.

– I’ll check your blogs later. Should have time tomorrow to catch up. Hope you’re all well!!!

“I love my job” has a whole new meaning

I volunteered this weekend at the Ironman, putting sunblock on the athletes as they transitioned from the 112 mile bike ride to the 26.2 mile run (after, of course, also swimming 2.4 miles). It was so, incredibly much fun. The other sunblock volunteers and I lined up right before the marathon start with our gloves smeared with sunscreen, and waited for takers. The guys and girls appreciated the sunblock rubdowns, and we all appreciated being appreciated. There was a whole lot of laughter and goofiness, and lots of shared inspiration watching these amazing and lil’ bit crazy people do their thing. Now, I’m playing catch up. But it was so worth it. Can hardly wait until next year, to do it all again.

Swamped…

Now I want to write, and I can’t find time. I am so swamped with 1 class, 2 jobs, 3 kids, a house in dire need of cleaning and a workout plan that I am totally falling off of. Help!! Tomorrow, though, despite it all, I’m volunteering at the Ironman! Woo-hoo! I’m so excited about that. Meghan is doing great things promoting Ironman fundraising for PLUMPY NUT, and in other news, Liz got a referral. As for me, I’m out of here! So much work to do, but… All is well. Kids are still doing great in school. Hope you are all well!

Picking out some nail polish

Wow, this schedule might just do me in. It is a busy, busy semester. But, a very good semester, too. The kids are absolutely doing awesome in school. Far better than I ever dreamed. I have cute stories, hilarious stories, and sweet stories about each of them. For now, though, all I can manage is a photo or two. Zufan loves nail polish. Any sort of painting, in fact, is a hit. We have pages and pages of painted butcher paper that she has created in her two days of school. Tomorrow she goes again to preschool. She’s excited.

Red. Yeah. She went with the red and the blue. We are fashionable around here.

Catching up on the past month

Hey!! It’s me. I’m back. Here’s what’s up lately:

1) The two year anniversary since Zufan’s referral came and went, August 21st. Can’t, can’t, can’t believe it’s been 2 years. Amazing.

2) The kids started public school on Tuesday. We just don’t have the time and resources to homeschool right now, so we sent them off into the world — hopefully as prepared as they can be. I’ve had a hard time with the transition. I start tearing up whenever I think of my babies in the classroom, maybe being misunderstood, or tired, or bored, or teased… (The little guy came home the first day reporting that a boy had laughed at his name, but then our neighbor boy who has a far more unusual name — and who is a little toughie but SO cute — “fighted him, but I didn’t tell him to, Mommy.” The teaser and the neighbor both got scolded.) Overall, really, both kids seem to be doing GREAT! The big girl thinks her teacher, Mr. E., is cooler than a Wisconsin winter, and the little guy is totally unfazed by: the teasing, a bloody nose on the playground, getting lost on his way back to his classroom after lunch, using the bathroom on cue, and having to write his name countless times a day. In their eyes, it is all good. They are essentially a bunch of smiles. So I am thankful, and hopeful that it will continue to be a good year for them.

3) The big D is coming along nicely. We are fairly civil to each other, usually, but it is still very hard to live in the same residence. Someday, I will look back on this time and wonder how I survived, how I stayed sane. Every last, stinking, piece of paperwork has been turned in and all we need now is 20 minutes in court, and bam: Mommy will get a new lease on life. Or not. Maybe, nothing will change. Big girl knows about the D, she’s relieved to have it all out in the open, we talk about it and she seems to be pretty unbothered by the whole thing as long as I promise “no new daddies,” at least not for a long time. That’s a reasonable request, I’d say.

4) I managed to get into a Language Interpreter for Medical Spanish program, so I’m taking one class, one night a week, from 5:30-9:30, plus homework time. The class is awesome. I adore being a student. I never realized how much goes into interpretting. It is much more than simple knowledge of  the languages. Right now we are working on simultaneous interpretation, which means the interpreter listens to the source language while at the same time translating to the target language. The lag time is just a few seconds — just like you hear on TV, when the pres. of another country gives a speech or something. This is going to be a long term goal for me. I not only need to learn and practice the skills, I also need to improve my Spanish. The prospect is overwhelming right now, but it’s exciting.  In an it’s-a-small-world coincidence, a good friend of mine is in the class, a fully bilingual native speaker of Spanish and basically the class rockstar, so I’m well connected, in great company, have a partner for activities and a carpool and study buddy. Cool how things work out.

5) Zufan had her first full day (“full” meaning 2.5 hours) of preschool today. She will go 3 days a week. She LOVED it, and did great! I heard from both teachers and the helper that “she is SO busy.” The parent helper said, “She’s yours??!! Wow! I could hardly wait to see who she belongs to!” I guess she got there, started talking, and didn’t stop the entire time. Of course!

6) I’m running again!!!! My foot is, mostly, healed. I ran a half marathon last weekend at 8:05 minute miles. Good enough, for coming back from injury. Now, looking forward to the Chicago marathon in 6 weeks.

7) Work is great!! I love both work places and all 3 of my classes, and all my students. One of the classes I teach is a 140 minute mega-class that meets twice a week but amazingly, I love it. I have several non-traditional students, and have gotten tons of positive feedback from the students so far, which is heartening. (Along with a few complaints about homework load. Ah, well.)

And finally… I had a few coffee dates. It wasn’t serious, but it took a serious toll on my moods. Up, down, up, crash. That is all done now. I don’t have time, and certainly don’t have time to be under any extra emotional turmoil. The experience was like cherry flavored cough syrup; SO good when you first taste it that you can hardly wait for more, but it sometimes leaves a somewhat bitter aftertaste and pretty soon it even starts to make you sick. Too much could maybe kill a person – especially if that person (me!) is a very-newly-single, maybe slightly emotionally vulnerable, too caring, too sincere, too trusting, and probably exceptionally enthusiastic person. So, while I didn’t go so far as to dump this syrup all down the drain, I did put a cap on it. Stuck in the way, way back of the cupboard. Maybe later. But probably not. I just may get myself single, and stay that way until I’m 80. I don’t think I want that, but if that is what is to be, it is OK. We’ll all be fine, as long as the kids and I have each other, they also have their dad, and I have my family and friends. That is better than “good enough.” It is great. (I hope!!! Or, sort of!! Or, “great” is a total lie! As you may’ve guessed, just trying to make lemonade out of awfully sour lemons. )

(On the steps of their new elementary school.)

I’m feeling a comeback in the air

For now, a few pictures of the little guy’s 6 year old happy, happy birthday party at Chuckie’s, and one of mommy and the littles. My month is up this week; I think a major catch-up post will be in order! I’ve missed you all. Hasta pronto!

Wordless — almost

I’m in no condition or position to post yet. But the kids are doing great! See what I caught the two littlest doing the other day? Hope you’re all well!

Back in a month

I’ve had a really hard time posting lately. It is NOT because I have nothing to say. In fact, I have a lot to say. Nothing new about that. My problem is I am indecisive about what to write. In case anyone doesn’t know it yet, for the record, I am getting closer and closer to being legally single — after 17 years and 3 kids. Divorced. Yep. But, single sounds so much nicer. Incredible, isn’t it? Amazing how life changes. When I started this blog 3 years ago this month, singledom was far from my mind. On the other hand, it has been coming on since the beginning. While I feel like the marriage was meant to be, and each of my little sweeties was SO meant to be, this new phase of our lives is absolutely meant to be as well. It is, honestly, for the best for all of us. Cliche as it is, the kids are and will always be the first priority. No matter what. They are thriving, and we will both work to be sure they continue to thrive.

I’ve found two 4 leaf clovers recently; one a little over a week ago, one today. Signs? Absolutely. Signs are everywhere.  Here is one of them:

I’m going to take some time off of blogging. One month, which means I’ll be back sometime around September 5th. While I’m gone, check in often on JULIE, who is right this moment on her way to Ethiopia to get her babies!! So exciting!!! Then, check in on PAIGE, who does great work with EOR and is a great cook, great momma, and great support. Don’t forget, either about EVELYN, who is still, still, still waiting for a referral. One of these days it will happen.

 

I’m checking out by posting a picture of just me, my tough-girl-in-the-Ethiopia-shirt, in Guaynab0, PR, right after Zufan came home, to remind myself that I once was tough, and that I can be tough (not to mention happy) right now, and in the future. Now, I’m off to rock a toddler and read Giraffes Can’t Dance, and soak up every moment of it. Because, as they say, life is what happens along the way. Sending lots of happy thoughts to all of you.